AND I'VE SEEN YOUR LOVING

airielle @ 2008-08-07T12:35:00

2008-08-07T19:36:46Z

This morning I saw Jacob's new myspace. Melissa took her profile off private.

I got really sick.

I cried so hard my hair got wet. Like I stood out in the rain and let everything go.

I kept telling George it was all my fault.

airielle @ 2008-08-02T13:33:00

2008-08-02T17:50:34Z

I think it's time I did a fuckin' post.

So, let's recap--

Since the visit to Richmond, Jacob hooked up with his ex-girlfriend.

Let's skip the details, they don't matter very much anymore. We finally split, and that's the gist of it.

Last night was my parents' vow renewals. George and I got to go. We went over to pick up my brother (my mom was super pissed at my dad since he made up some lame excuse to go pick up a cake when everything was hush-hush) and from there we went to Lowe's to get a corsage for her. We were already running late as it was. So from there, we went straight to the Hilton Hotel (chyeah, the one in University) and met up with the rest of the guests there. I went to the executive floor with George and Brandon so they could change into nice clothes for it, while I stood there in red sofie shorts and a tanktop with some flipflops and half-assed blow-dryed hair.

Elena came to my rescue! She brought probably a good dozen or so dresses for me to rummage through, several pairs of shoes, make-up and hairspray. My hero!

So when we went down to see everyone (I'm wobbling on 4-inch heels on an escalator), my dad called and said they were late. My mom still had no idea what was going on, lol.

The ceremony was beautiful. I got to stand behind my mom and my brother stood beside my dad. It was great how Brandon (my bro) and I were such a big part of the ceremony. We recited our vows to love and support our parents, and my mom and dad said their piece. I think the greatest part was sitting down outside by the lake waiting for my dad to bring in my mom and I turned around and she's standing there saying, "Hi?", smiling, laughing and crying.

Afterward there was an awesome ball-party. Chris (my dad's friend Chris, not my bro-Chris) sat down and made George feel horribly uncomfortable (or at least I think so). Gave him that "treat-her-with-respect-and-she'll-respect-you" talk. Everyone there had something to say about Jacob it felt like, but it was okay. George and I got to dance. Mom and dad were dancing, and it was really beautiful. Afterward Elena bought a room for us. We stayed in an executive room!! It was awesome! Dad and mom and Chris invited us over to the VIP suite (complete with Jacuzzi!) and we all hung out in the Jacuzzi after I made amends with my parents. It was really touching. Dad even cried with me and Chris talked with George and it just felt like we all bonded together like family. My parents really hit it off with George, which is a good thing. They said it's been a while since they met a guy I dated that they liked.

That's about it. :D

It's been a good couple of days finally. I was due for a happy place in the head for once.

I tried to put the Jacob and Melissa thing behind me, but she's still holding grudges. Probably complaining. Probably whining. Probably will talking about me and hating me and thinking we're "stalking" her. Cause, you know, the world revolves around Melissa and Jacob. Poor them. Poor, poor Melissa and Jacob.

Agent Airi, signing out!

Oh yeah! My new phone's working!

airielle @ 2008-05-06T10:33:00

2008-05-06T14:44:53Z

So! Time for a cheerful update.

Finally.

Anyway, I went into work yesterday at 8:30 in the morning. I left around midnight last night. Manager meeting was really long. Talked about how we don't care enough about the store and we're not taking ownership as managers and we're not having each other's backs enough. Welllll, I think I did a pretty good job at it yesterday. And Sunday. Considering I went in on my day off.

I love my job, really. Being there that long wasn't THAT bad as anyone would think but it was a little boring at the end listening to Chris talk. I almost fell asleep twice, haha.

Iron-man was FANTASTIC. I saw it with Jacob. He took me to go see it the day before it came out. Shhhhhh, don't tell! I promised some people I wouldn't see it without them, but what's a girl to do? Oh, Tonyyyyyy.

Let's see. Friday night after work Jacob and I are taking a road trip to Virginia for his college then we're stopping in Richmond to see Duncan and Beverly and some of his friends! Yay! I'm really excited about it, but I'm worried about gas money like you wouldn't believe. :/ Four hour drive, anyone? Nah.

I'm massively tired. On top of my hectic work schedule yesterday, Chris (my boss) has me going with him on his one-on-one meeting with Chad in Mooresville. Bummerrrrrr. It's just a lot of Chad yelling at Chris, apparently, and I get to sit along for the ride and listen to it. Then he wants me to go shopping with him for some stuff for the store, like lamenating paper and stuff. Why me? Though there is speculation flying about about Chris having a crush on me.

Hearing that a 38-year-old man has a crush on me is a little silly, in my opinion. Especially since Jacob and I are back together again.

Yeah...Buffy, gimme a call. 995-4542. That's MY number, kthx.

airielle @ 2008-04-29T09:57:00

2008-04-29T14:12:31Z

Aura, one of the girls at Ben's house, killed herself Sunday night. She didn't leave a note, no reason why, nothing. There were no drugs, there wasn't anything to explain why. I didn't know her personally, but I liked her. She was beautiful, and whenever I was there, she seemed like the only person interested in talking to me unless Matt wanted to hear some drama.

Ben doesn't talk to me. He looks at me. Touches me. Mumbles bullshit across a pillow. Rolls onto his back and stares at the ceiling and lets me whisper to him. We laughed under the covers, but all he's interested in is the time beneath the sheets. I smoke cigarettes alone. He keeps his arms around me when I'm conveniently close to him. If I move, he won't follow.

I can't respect the men in my life because I don't get the respect I need.

I watched them live from far away, and hoped and hoped and hoped they would realize this isn't how it should go. Someone was going to get arrested, someone was going to get caught, someone was going to overdose. Something would happen.

Oh, god. When I last saw her, she was crossing the room in silence. I know I don't have a right to feel that loss (I didn't know her very well)--but it's just a shock to know that someone you just saw left everything behind.

There's a lot of things going through my head right now including Ben, his place, my life.

I've been sharing this secret with him for what feels like so long but it couldn't have been more than a week.

airielle @ 2008-04-22T11:55:00

2008-04-22T16:01:51Z

So, new girl is moving into the apartment tonight. Jacob's moving to Virginia Beach to further his education (I couldn't be more proud, or envious), and I'm finally getting $400 paychecks again.

Thanks, higher being.

On a more somber note...

Since Louis died, there was no one in this world who could possibly understand what kind of loss I went through, or what kind of pain I felt. That was until I sat down and had a conversation with one of the drivers at work. We just started talking, and I realized, he went through exactly what I went through, felt all the same emotions, and understood me. No one's connected with me on that level before, and it blew me away when I was driving home that night.

Secondly, last night, something happened that just cheered me up entirely.

When I went to my car to go home, there was a heart drawn on my window. Just something I couldn't notice until I caught it in a certain light. And I had been having such a terrible, bad, sad day that when I saw it, I just smiled and felt so much better.

Oh, life. Where would I be without you?

airielle @ 2008-04-05T18:10:00

2008-04-05T22:45:39Z

It's been a while, huh?

A lot of things have gone on since the last entry. It seems like, after my birthday, it all went downhill.

Starting with the day Jacob threw a fit in the parking lot at Pizza Hut about me doing things with my boss. So I went home, cried for a good few hours, and wrote a letter to him, packed my stuff, and decided, ultimately, that I wouldn't leave. I'd work it out.

Here comes tomorrow. Jacob supposedly has entirely changed, and managed to turn everything against me. It's suspicious that Chris and I went to the gas station so he could buy cigarettes and I would go buy Jacob a red bull. It's so very suspicious. But it's okay. He has a right to be suspicious, I guess. I just thought it was getting out of hand. So he told me I'm a terrible person for turning everything I do against him.

I dunno. This is just all so outrageous.

He said he's changed. He wants me to. And I need to. I really, really do.

But good GOD. I'm tired of this high school drama bullshit.

Let me just pack my bags, pick up and go.

It was always easier by myself.

airielle @ 2008-03-27T10:56:00

2008-03-27T15:06:15Z

My birthday...

Was amazing.

Sunday, my boss Chris got me a birthday cake, like I said. Then, I got to spend most of Sunday with my parents and my brother, and I have to say, it was so much fun I wanted to cry. It made me miss living there. I think about it now and I ache so much. It was kind of nice, living there again and spending time with my brother. My parents were sweet. They took me out to dinner and then dad bought this cherry cake. It was so yummy!

I hung out with my brother the next day, and got to take him to work. I wore my birthday dress. Chris told me I looked nice about 3 times, lol. I tried curling my hair, and I think it came out pretty nice. I worked from 5-8 that day but Jacob had reservations to Kabuto's, so he took me there. It was really awesome. Chris and Heather were there, and they brought another cake out of the kitchen. It had sprinkles all over it and it was delicious~!

It was the most amazing birthday I've ever had.

And now?

I just wanna go to California.

airielle @ 2008-03-23T11:07:00

2008-03-23T15:21:39Z

It's like a jungle sometimes! It makes me wonder how I keep from going under!

The Message by Grandmaster Flash is stuck in my head.

But anyway, Happy Easter! I got a basket full of Pokemon goodies, including crappy biscuit cookies that tasted like stale coffee, two plushies, fun dip, sour candies and jelly eggs.

Riley's learning where to poo and go potty. I'm getting so proud of her. Sometimes her and Olive fight but it's mostly play-fighting, so they're learning to get along.

Yesterday at work, my boss got a birthday cake for me! Even though I was horribly sick, he had Cee Cee go buy a cake for me, let me have some, and then told me I could clock out. I was really really happy. That honestly means a lot to me. ^_^ It said, "Happy Birthday Airi" and everything~!

Anyway, today's the day I'm spendin with my parents so I have to go get ready and head over there. I'm a bit upset because I tried filing my taxes last week and apparently, they listed me as a dependent.

Ugh. So now I have to go over there and ask what the hell that's all about. I mean, for every dependent, they make $3,500. I'm just making $300, barely, by filing my taxes. Gimme a break....

airielle @ 2008-03-21T00:22:00

2008-03-21T04:38:04Z

I got to hang out Wednesday night~!

Woahz!

It was pretty cool, and really fun. ^_^

But work is kicking my ass once more! I was really stressed out tonight. Jacob was supposed to be a server, and I'm front CSR. I had to train a newbie, do a remake in the back, take care of Jacob's table (he couldn't handle it?), and then Cee Cee asked me to mark boxes for her. So--I'm breaking. I decided once it was all finished to take a breather and wash my face in the ladies bathroom, and this family (who previously complained about waiting too long) was there.

Two of their kids and the kids' grandpa was playing in the hallway leading to the bathroom. Like, the grandpa was sitting in front of the door that I needed to go through. Literally. So I stood there--that's polite, right? But the mom turns to me and says, "So you're that fuckin' impatient?"

I turned to her and said, "Excuse me?" just, kind of in surprise, not rudeness.

The dad says, "Why don't you sit your ass down and be a little patient."

I'm absolutely stunned.

Jeez!

But anyway...I bet I'm gonna have to deal with more of it tomorrow. It's Friday. Then there's Saturday. Oh well...

I had a pretty good day, though. I woke up kinda early and had some McDonald's later for lunch, and then I came home and took a nap with Riley. I slept until a half-hour til work. But I managed to get there on time. Somehow. Zomg. I played a lot of Final Fantasy III while I waited for Jacob to get off work, but I'm totally lost cause I'm fighting with this dragon who can deal 4 figures of damage and I'm still hitting 70 (crit!). Nuts. Then after work, Jake and I went to Wal-Mart to get Riley and Olive stuff. We actually got Olive something she LOVES. It's these two $.88 cat toys with cat nip and she can't get enough of it. Riley even loves it, even though I just spent $10 on stuff for her. -_-

Anyway~! I'm gonna close with a picture: (I look so short!)

airielle @ 2008-03-12T22:06:00

2008-03-13T02:12:32Z

So Jacob and I had some major fightin' going on today.

Like--he was checking my email today. I asked him to, because I bought him something off ebay and I thought it would be a nice surprise. He assumed I was antsy about a love letter from a secret lover. It doesn't make sense--if I was hiding something, would I ask him to look there?

So we fought. Then, he spent $70 on hookah tobacco.

And honestly, that just blew it for me. We're not rich. We don't have money to spend. I'm always the one budgeting, and he has to just keep spending whatever we earn.

I Just wish he'd take some responsibility...

So we decided that we're going on a break. I'm going to be with my parents or something while he has the apartment, and we're just gonna take a break. :/

It was very much needed.

airielle @ 2008-03-11T23:55:00

2008-03-12T04:07:57Z

Ugh. Last night was a rough one. I usually don't have hangovers, and I've certainly been more drunk than I was last night, but I had a tiddy bit of a headache this morning. I remember the whole night, I was thinking I was embarassed, and when I woke up, it hit me all over again. Yup. So embarassed. Andrew was over last night and I completely embarassed myself.

It was kinda funny though--just about everybody at the party thought Andrew was really hot. XD Uhm, except for Heather. She's got a boyfriend, lmao.

But uhmmm, jeez. Today was amazing! We woke up early. Jake and I got into a mini-fight about texting. :/ Then he was on my myspace, checking my messages. This is getting out of hand, and I'm scared that if I have this talk with him, he's going to get all angry with me. Agaaaain. But we worked it out on the way back home, picked up Duncan, Bev, Lakisha and Darrius from our place and we all drove to Northlake. It was kinda funny. Darrius and Bev rode with me, and we just sang "Genie in a Bottle" at the top of our lungs. And some Jessica Simpson. Oh yeah.

Gay guys are so much fun. ^_^

At the mall, Jacob bought me my birthday present! A pink DS Lite! Zomg, I'm so happy~!

I've been wanting one since it came out!

And, I've discovered that I am, in fact, awesome at Super Smash Bros Brawl. Nobody has yet to beat me! Mwahahaha~!

airielle @ 2008-03-11T11:37:00

2008-03-11T15:38:53Z

I woke up this morning, realized what happened, and fell back onto the bed.

I'm so embarassing.

airielle @ 2008-03-10T18:20:00

2008-03-10T22:32:26Z

Okay! Here we go!

We got a puppy on Saturday (she's a half lab, half beagle, and pure cuteness). We played around with a few names at first, but we're sticking with Riley. We almost went with Kisses. Lily was a possibility, too. But I'm happy with Riley. Heather suggested it one night when I came back from work (her and Chris were dog-sitting for me) and I loved it. Jacob liked it, too. Unfortunately, ever since we got the puppy, Olive hasn't come out of the bedroom. Lately, they've been sniffing each other and getting used to each other, but the cat still tries to scratch Riley if she comes to close.

Not to mention, Jacob and I are up all night cause of those two. I fell asleep two hours after my intended time, then woke up again cause Olive was scratching at Jacob's feet. Riley was perfectly alright, curled up into a ball against Jacob's chest (she ADORES him), but Olive was more on my side, away from Riley, lol.

Anyway, Duncan and Beverly came into town today from Richmond. They're staying with us for a week, and they brought one of their friends. Bev brought her Wii, and I'm SO happy. I thought I was never going to be able to play Super Smash Bros Brawl, but I got to! Yay! Link is my Hero...of Time. :)

I got back into sketching, too. I did a little doodle the other day. I'll try and upload a photo or something...

Anyway, that's all I have to report, really.

I think Chris, Heather, Kirsten and Jonathan are coming over and we're all gonna have a party. Huzzah!

airielle @ 2008-03-09T14:23:00

2008-03-09T18:27:51Z

Jake and I got a puppy--and needless to say, the cat and the dog DO NOT get along.

We're taking care of her for a month. Cee Cee (one of the other managers) is gonna keep her when she gets her own place.

Anyway, I got a lot of write about (a lots on my mind, at least) and I don't have the time. I'll post later.

airielle @ 2008-03-07T01:27:00

2008-03-07T06:31:51Z

We got a new cat. She's adorable. Her name is Olive. I adoringly added "oil" to that. She's our baby. I started calling Jacob "Daddy" with Olive and all that, and refer to myself as her mommy. Monzel brought over some cat toys, a litter box, some snacks and treats for her, and a scratching post for free. The kitty was free, too. We found her on Craigslist.

On top of that, we got a couch off Craigslist, too! It's beautiful, too. Really nice. It pulls out into a bed so Chris and Heather can sleep on it whenever they stay the night.

But I think my life is starting to swallow me whole.

I was really drunk last night, and when I woke up, my car was all screwed up. Dad called me and asked me to pick my brother up from school (he was sick, supposedly, but you know how kids are). So I go out to my car and it's all messed up. My tire was flat and Jacob and I are looking at each other going, "Uh, what do we do?"

So I call into work at twelve, asking what time I have to be there. Okay, 2o'clock isn't bad, until I realize it's going to take me four hours to get to a place that can fix my car (since I very well can't drive myself there) and another three hours on top of that to sit in line to get my tire fixed.

It was just a bad day. So Jacob tried to call work off entirely, claiming we are entitled as Chris' best employees to have one day off for an emergency. He raved and ranted, and I raved and ranted right back. I said I'd go into work if he didn't want to, and he could take care of the car. I cried, I cursed, I threw my fists up and hit things, I was so upset. It reached that point only after Jacob said something that just utterly blew me away.

"If you go to work now, I won't be here for you to come back to."

So he was threatening to leave me, all because I was giving in and telling my boss, "OKAY, I'll come in work as soon as I can get this car thing taken car of." At one point, when I was talking to Chris-boss on the phone out on our balcony, Jacob sent me a message saying, "Fuck you. I hate you."

I still have it in my phone. If the threat to live me blew me away, this just shattered me. It felt like my relationship was going up in flames all because I felt I had an obligation to go to work. And I tried explaining this to Jacob, about how ludicrous this all was, but he just kept saying, "You're not understanding!" and maybe I wasn't, but it seemed like it was all getting blown out of proportion. Keep in mind, prior to this, we had two days off together. And this is when we're both working at the same place as two, full-time employees. Isn't that enough?

Somehow, we work it out after a lot of blood, sweat and tears.

It kills me sometimes.

So we go to work, and Jacob is getting involved in this job that requires him to work off the internet. Get people to buy shit off this website that he's going to manage. He has to pay $9.95 for a shipping fee on DVD, books, and CD's and then when he decides to go for it, it's a $40 charge to begin.

Sounds fishy, right? But I figured I'd let him go for it. As skeptical as it sounds. He's convinced he can do this. All I can do is support him from the sidelines. Even if I don't like it.

I'm on the verge of tears. I hate this.

"Baby, I'm just going to type in my Gundam roleplay, and you can play WoW for the rest of the night since you have work at 11 tomorrow morning."

He got off at 1 in the morning.

Jacob's sleeping right now. I should be so mad, but I think I'm too tired to be angry. Work makes me too tired. This relationship makes me too tired. My bills make me tired. I just want to go to sleep, sometimes, and I want to wake up back in Junior year of High School, back when I could wake up at 2 o'clock on a Saturday, and laze the day away just talking with my nakama. I didn't want to stay up this late tonight just to have the computer for a half hour, but when am I ever going to have the chance? I work most of my life, I sleep it away with the other.

I bet he's reading this right now. And I bet he's mad. He's reading it like he reads my myspace inbox, outbox, and my phone texts.

I bet you hate me right now. But I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've got to feel this way. I'm upset. I had a rough day. I've never had you tell me some things you told me today, and I just want to reach my arms out, past the box I'm in, and touch the rest of the world, sometimes.

Please, before you get angry with me, wonder about it.

Should I really be punished just for being sad?

I'm so sad.

Isn't that enough?

airielle @ 2008-03-02T14:36:00

2008-03-02T19:41:38Z

Jeez. I'm so tired of fighting. Jacob and just YELL at each other sometimes, it drives me nuts! And we fight about the dumbest thing--

World of Warcraft.

Yeah. He's on it 24/7. Once upon a time we woke up together in the morning and we'd lay there together, just pillow-talk for a good hour about yesterday, about today, about our future. We'd make love and afterward we'd just lie there. Now, he wakes up an hour before me, makes sure I'm still sleeping and plays WoW for three hours. Then he comes home from work, and instead of helping me with cleaning or anything like that, it's WoW!

WoW, WoW, WoW!

I'm starting to get jealous of Serice, a level 70 Undead Priest. She spends more time with my fiance than I do. Seriously? Bonding time = when we're at work. On top of that, work is stressing me out. Time to get a new job, you know?

I'm looking into the Post Office for one and if that doesn't work, substitute teaching, here I come.

Rant for now. I'll post a real update when I feel better.

Oh! PS: I'm getting a cat! She's a pretty little kitty and her name is Lady Guinevere. Well, I'm re-naming her. It's really Ellen. But Lady is so much better.

airielle @ 2008-02-26T11:42:00

2008-02-26T20:10:46Z

You're not going to believe where I am and what I'm doing.

I'm sitting in the Green Tree, a motel in Wilmington. Heather, Chris, Jacob and I were sitting around my apartment at one in the morning after a Wal-Mart run, ready to play a board game we spontaneously bought, and out of no where, Heather says, "On our next day off, we all gotta go to the beach."

Chris goes quiet, looks at her, and asks if any of us have work tomorrow. Jacob and I are off, and so was Heather. Chris is currently unemployed, as explained in a previous entry.

So we decided to clamor into Chris' car around 1:30AM and started driving to Wilmington. We didn't sleep a wink. We all kept stopping at gas stations and kept buying energy drinks. We even got an 8-hour energy spray. That made Jacob feel sick to his stomach later, but I think this whole trip was way worth it, as crazy and spontaneous it is.

We got to see the sunrise this morning at the beach, and even if it was really really cold and my feet felt frozen, it was amazing. I've never seen the sky look so beautiful.

Me!

Chris and Heather. Aww!

Jacob, Chris and Heather. We were all thinking, "FOOOOD!?"

Me and Jacob. Aww 2!

airielle @ 2008-02-25T10:17:00

2008-02-25T15:31:43Z

Things have been a little rocky this past week. Jacob quit mumbling around about that hookah bar he wanted to do, thankfully. That's because Chris went and got the money, and I think he'd rather just spend it than invest in his own business. But it's not like that's really a bad thing. It makes me feel better that no one's going into debt and no one's quitting their job. Er--actually, Chris quit his job. He got another speeding ticket. His third one. But really, I'm aching to quit, too.

These past couple of weeks, Chris (my manager Chris, not our friend Chris) has been really taking advantage of us. He'll work us to the bone, Jacob and I bend over backwards for him and the store, but he doesn't respect us like he used to. It just feels a lot like he kisses Patricia's ass (our other manager) and steps all over us. We're late 30 minutes on Valentine's day, after calling in and explaining that we didn't have a ride from downtown Charlotte, and when we show up, Chris yells at us in front of everyone for another half-hour. And this is after we stay 3 hours later the previous night because Pizza Hut needed the help.

On top of that, Jacob's been promised a manager position since he was hired--what, five months ago? But in November, December, Chris was saying he was going to promote me. He still hasn't ordered the books, and right when it seemed like he was actually training me, he drops me from working any shifts of my own. I got one day this upcoming week to practice opening, and that's it. All because Cee Cee came back to Pizza Hut as a closing manager. It just doesn't seem likely that we'll ever get to it. And I've closed before--not under a manager's wage, but under my production wage. Not like it matters, he hasn't up'd my pay anyway.

So today's my day off with Jacob. It's payday, too. So it's bill paying time, and on top of that, we're going out job-hunting again. I kinda want a post-office position, but like I said, you gotta pay $200 for a personality test, and frankly, I want my job to pay me, not to pay my job to have it. :/

Anyway, Jacob's brother was telling him about a job at a jewelry store. That would be interesting--and easy. I wouldn't mind a retail job.

Wow. Jacob just brough breakfast to me and it's AMAZING. Steak with hashbrowns and ketchup. Wow. Just wow.

Also! Dad stopped by last week at 8 in the morning and dropped off $100 cash!

He heard about how Jacob and I got a movie theatre gift card and used it instead as a means to get food than see a movie.

Mmm, nachos?

That was stunning, though. My dad really made me feel loved. I almost cried when I saw it. But I better go. I'm gonna let Jacob get on the computer and I'm gonna take a shower so I can bounce. ;)

airielle @ 2008-02-16T11:17:00

2008-02-16T16:22:52Z

I've been playing a lot of WoW lately, since Jacob's trying to get me into it more and more. Honestly, I kinda see why he was so addicted to it. It's a lot of fun. I'll be really sad to see it go on the 24th this month. I usually play an Undead Preist, but I made a Blood Elf Warlock and I really like her so far.

In other news, I pieced together the fact that Rachel and Michael are going back out.
And that's about all I have to say on that besides, "WTF?"

Yeah, but I'm pretty sure Michael had the same reaction when he pieced together the fact that I was engaged to Jacob.

So I can't really say anything, you know?

Anyway, I'm really aching for a Playstation. Just to play old school Playstation games and Final Fantasy XII. I still didn't get that one.

I really don't know what else there is to write about. We got the car washed last night for the first time in months. Thank God. But really, nothing exciting yet. Jacob and Chris are gonna start this Hookah bar thing when we all have a day off--next Tuesday or Wednesday.

Like I said, exciting but scary. :/

airielle @ 2008-02-15T21:38:00

2008-02-16T02:53:01Z

I'm kind of nervous.

For Valentine's Day, Jacob and Chris came up with the idea to take me and Heather out to a Hookah bar, since we usually sit around my apartment and smoke out of a hookah anyway. It's pretty chill, but when we got there, it was closed down. They were smart, though, and had a second option. We ended up going to Sonoma's, a restaurant where Jacob took me for Senior Prom.

Anyway, when we got there, Jacob randomly said, "Let's start a Hookah bar ourselves. We can do it."

So, a couple days later, Chris looks into it, and decides he wants to spend $10,000 starting this business, and Jacob is right there with him, backing it up.

I'm so nervous!

Jacob said stuff about quitting his job, and getting me to quit (right after I get promoted!) if this place is stable. Even though we're not really taking any risks (considering that we're not the one getting the loan, or spending our own money), it's still a big step. A HUGE step.

But you know, it makes some sense. Apparently, there's a Hookah bar over at NC state, and it's full of college students 24/7. It's a small place (or so I hear) that gets a lot of business. Jacob and Chris already found a place that's within walking distance of UNCC, and they're really going for it. I support them 100%, but wow!

This is huge!

Update more on this later.

airielle @ 2008-02-13T21:16:00

2008-02-14T02:18:20Z

Sometimes, I feel like if I just messaged you, asked for help, you would give it to me, and it would be all better.

Life would be easier, and I would feel better.

There is no cigarette, there is no drink, there is no high quite like you.

100 things to do

2008-02-07T05:14:56Z

Exercise/Health/Medical
01. ~~Get weight down to under 120 lbs~~
02. Walk around the apartment complex with Jacob once a week.
03. ~~Get glasses~~.
04. Take vitamins every day for 6 months (0/6)
05. Go without fast food for 3 months (0/90)
06. Drink at least 2 glasses of green tea for 3 months
07. Play DDR for an hour every day for a week
08. Stay off the Internet after 8:00 PM for 2 weeks
09. Get a food diary.
10. Take a shower/bath within the first hour of waking up every day for a week
11. Stop biting my nails.
12. No eating at 7PM for thirty days. (0/30)

Living Space
13. ~~Keep the apartment clean~~.
14. Set a day to do the laundry.
15. Organize books on Libraryanything.com
16. Do the dishes for Jacob 5 times out of the week.
17. ~~Don't eat in the bedroom~~

Entertainment/Liesure
18. Read 100 books starting now. (2/100)
19. Watch 24 movies in the theater.
20. Go to Disney World with Jacob.
21. ~~Road trip~~.
22. ~~Get a body massage~~.
23. Watch 50 movies not in the theater that I've never seen before.
24. ~~Host a Party~~.
25. Review 50 movies on imdb.com (0/50)
26. Review 100 products on amazon.com (0/100)
27. Surprise someone in FL.
28. Beat FFIX, FFx-2 and FFXII.
29. ~~Make a WoW character~~ and get up to level 50.

Creativity
30. Write 5 new short stories that aren't fanfiction. (0/5)
31. Buy a digital camera.
32. Start a photo album.
33. Write a handwritten letter to my grandma every month.

Shopping/Finance
34. Save $10 a week for at least 2 months or the equivalent ($400)
35. Buy or acquire a pink DS lite.
36. Buy a futon.
37. Pay off the credit cards.
38. Buy or acquire a Wii.
39. Buy a bookshelf.
40. Set a goal to make at least $10 in tips a week.

Entertainment
41. Have 5 friends make a burned CD for me with their favorite songs. (3/5)
42. Listen to it all the way through, and discuss it. (1/5)
43. Learn to play guitar.
44. Find out about 10 other bands or singers. (0/10)
45. Buy 10 vinyls. (0/10)
46. Go to at least 3 concerts/shows. (0/3)
47. Watch 20 foreign films. (0/20)

Things I've never done before
48. ~~Go to a store/restaurant/place I've never been to~~.
49. Go to a gay bar.
50. Go to a club.
51. Get a manicure
52. Get a pedicure
53. Go out dancing with Jacob.
54. ~~Go on a double date~~.
55. Send in a secret to PostSecret.
56. Learn to drive a stick shift
57. Try colored contacts
58. Learn to actually cook.
59. Read a book about Pirates.
60. Write down one thing I'm greatful for each day for a month (0/30)
61. ~~Go to a hookah bar~~.
62. Go to RenFest.
63. Go to a restaurant with Jacob and pay for the meal.
64. Learn how to pack a hookah.
65. Get Jacob to make a list.
66. Go on a cruise.
67. Get up before 9 and go to bed before 12 for a month.
68. Do something with Jacob's parents without him around.

Random Acts of Kindness
69. Pay for the person behind me in the drive through at a fast food restaurant
70. Make a clothes donation to a charity
71. Leave a $20 tip at a regular restaurant.
72. Surprise Jacob with a foot massage.
73. Donate $1.00 to a charity for every item not completed on this list by the due date
74. Return the $100 my dad gave to me.
75. In a bathroom stall, write something positive.

Afterthoughts
76. See Louis' grave.
77. Don't drink for a month.
78. Send a letter to someone famous requesting an autograph.
79. Give up something for Lent in 2009
80. Buy something off of Etsy.
81. Gain 200 mutual livejournal friends.
82. Update livejournal once a week.about my 101 goals.
83. Burn the bridges with the people who have a negative impact on my life.
84. Reconsile the relationship between Jacob and my immediate family.
85. Meet two people off of the Internet.
86. ~~Install the car radio~~.
87. Learn how to change oil.
88. ~~Have Jacob teach me how to give a massage~~.
89. Find out why the engine light is on in the car and have it fixed.
90. Buy a thank you card for for someone once a month for four months.(0/4)
91. ~~Be better than Jacob at something~~.
92. Fill my sketchbook.
93. ~~Get a dog/cat~~.
94. Cook a meal five times out of the week for a month. (0/20)
95. ~~Delete my myspace and add only friends I know~~.
96. Visit Virginia.
97. ~~Make new pictures for myspace that aren't "myspace" pictures~~.
98. Don't lie for a day.
99. Go without sex for a week.
100. On completion of this list, go out with Jacob and have a celebration dinner.

airielle @ 2008-02-02T12:37:00

2008-02-02T17:46:57Z

So last night was Friday. A Friday night at Pizza Hut.

Good times, good times.

It's just so insane on Fridays! Why order a pizza on a Friday night when you know the rest of Charlotte gets that pizza urge? We were SWAMPED, like every Friday. Jacob was waiting tables and Chris and I were on the cut table, boxing pizzas. It was nuts. I ended up slamming my head up on the hot box (pure accident) and got really dizzy after that, but it wasn't like I could stop working. So I kept on, but I wasn't really all there, or something. Chris threw a pizza in a box that I was holding, and the hot pan bottom got my hand. I cursed, turned around, and marched right into the bathroom. It really wasn't that bad, though. It burned for just a split second, and then I got back to work.

Still, it was nuts.

Anyway, after work (Jacob and I left at around 11:40 that night), Aaron let us buy alcohol.

We got so fucking smashed.

Lindsey came over (Lindsey is a guy, by the way). He used to drive at Pizza Hut but something came up in his life where he was just unable to work. So Chris and Heather came over, too, and we just sat and smoked the hookah and drank. It was really relaxing after all that work. I passed out really early though (we played Circle of Death and I was gone when the game finished). I went to bed early, and woke up later when Jacob was sleeping next to me. He had to work this morning at 11. I felt bad that he had to go to work after staying up so late. But he didn't mind it. :)

I don't have work until 5, so I'm passing time. I want to start playing this N64 emulator I got. I hope it works. :/

I'm trying to get my old Playstation back, too, but no luck. It'll take like a month to get it from Chris' mom, I'm sure. It's so I can play FF7 again. I'm bidding my ass off on ebay to get it, but no luck. I wish I hadn't traded it to Nam for FF9. :/

Ugh. Oh well.